DADDY.CARDS
I'm not a short-order cook
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
I'm living in a madhouse
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
Wait. Why is this wet?
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
Not now honey, I have a headache
I'm not a jungle gym
No, you may not
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
Sleep is for the weak
Go ask your mother
No you can't have candy for breakfast
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
Poop is life
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
I'm too old for this
Can I get a refund?
WHYYYYYY
Because I said so
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
I'm not made of money
No you can't fly like Superman
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
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