DADDY.CARDS
I'm not made of money
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
Can I get a refund?
I'm not a jungle gym
No you can't have candy for breakfast
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
Poop is life
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
Because I said so
WHYYYYYY
I'm too old for this
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
I'm living in a madhouse
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
No you can't fly like Superman
Go ask your mother
I'm not a short-order cook
Wait. Why is this wet?
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
Not now honey, I have a headache
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
No, you may not
Sleep is for the weak
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