DADDY.CARDS
I'm not a short-order cook
No you can't fly like Superman
I'm not made of money
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
Because I said so
Wait. Why is this wet?
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
Not now honey, I have a headache
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
I'm not a jungle gym
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
Poop is life
Can I get a refund?
I'm living in a madhouse
No, you may not
I'm too old for this
Go ask your mother
Sleep is for the weak
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
No you can't have candy for breakfast
WHYYYYYY
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