DADDY.CARDS
Poop is life
Because I said so
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
No, you may not
I'm too old for this
Wait. Why is this wet?
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
No you can't fly like Superman
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
Not now honey, I have a headache
I'm living in a madhouse
Sleep is for the weak
Can I get a refund?
I'm not a short-order cook
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
I'm not made of money
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
WHYYYYYY
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
I'm not a jungle gym
Go ask your mother
No you can't have candy for breakfast
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