DADDY.CARDS
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
Can I get a refund?
Not now honey, I have a headache
WHYYYYYY
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
Sleep is for the weak
No, you may not
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
Because I said so
I'm living in a madhouse
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
I'm not made of money
Wait. Why is this wet?
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
Go ask your mother
I'm not a short-order cook
I'm too old for this
Poop is life
No you can't fly like Superman
I'm not a jungle gym
No you can't have candy for breakfast
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