DADDY.CARDS
No, you may not
Not now honey, I have a headache
Wait. Why is this wet?
Poop is life
I'm too old for this
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
I'm not made of money
Go ask your mother
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
Sleep is for the weak
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
No you can't fly like Superman
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
Because I said so
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
No you can't have candy for breakfast
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
I'm not a jungle gym
WHYYYYYY
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
I'm living in a madhouse
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
I'm not a short-order cook
Can I get a refund?
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