DADDY.CARDS
Go ask your mother
No, you may not
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
Can I get a refund?
I'm not a short-order cook
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
I'm not a jungle gym
Wait. Why is this wet?
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
No you can't have candy for breakfast
No you can't fly like Superman
Because I said so
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
WHYYYYYY
Sleep is for the weak
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
I'm living in a madhouse
Not now honey, I have a headache
I'm too old for this
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
I'm not made of money
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
Poop is life
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