DADDY.CARDS
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
Wait. Why is this wet?
Can I get a refund?
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
I'm too old for this
I'm not a jungle gym
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
I'm not a short-order cook
I'm living in a madhouse
Sleep is for the weak
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
I'm not made of money
Because I said so
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
Go ask your mother
Not now honey, I have a headache
No you can't fly like Superman
Poop is life
No you can't have candy for breakfast
WHYYYYYY
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
No, you may not
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