DADDY.CARDS
I'm not made of money
I'm not a jungle gym
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
Poop is life
Sleep is for the weak
I'm too old for this
No you can't have candy for breakfast
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
No, you may not
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
Wait. Why is this wet?
No you can't fly like Superman
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
Not now honey, I have a headache
I'm not a short-order cook
Because I said so
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
Can I get a refund?
Go ask your mother
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
I'm living in a madhouse
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
WHYYYYYY
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
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