DADDY.CARDS
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
I'm not a short-order cook
Can I get a refund?
Not now honey, I have a headache
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
No you can't fly like Superman
WHYYYYYY
I'm too old for this
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
No, you may not
Because I said so
Poop is life
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
I'm living in a madhouse
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
I'm not a jungle gym
I'm not made of money
No you can't have candy for breakfast
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
Go ask your mother
Sleep is for the weak
Wait. Why is this wet?
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
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