DADDY.CARDS
Can I get a refund?
No, you may not
I'm not made of money
Sleep is for the weak
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
WHYYYYYY
Because I said so
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
Poop is life
Wait. Why is this wet?
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
I'm too old for this
No you can't fly like Superman
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
I'm not a short-order cook
Go ask your mother
I'm living in a madhouse
Not now honey, I have a headache
I'm not a jungle gym
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
No you can't have candy for breakfast
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