DADDY.CARDS
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
No you can't have candy for breakfast
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
Go ask your mother
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
Can I get a refund?
I'm too old for this
Poop is life
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
No, you may not
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
Sleep is for the weak
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
Because I said so
I'm not made of money
Not now honey, I have a headache
No you can't fly like Superman
WHYYYYYY
I'm not a short-order cook
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
I'm living in a madhouse
Wait. Why is this wet?
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
I'm not a jungle gym
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