DADDY.CARDS
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
Because I said so
Go ask your mother
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
WHYYYYYY
Can I get a refund?
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
Poop is life
I'm not a jungle gym
I'm living in a madhouse
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
Sleep is for the weak
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
No, you may not
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
I'm too old for this
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
Not now honey, I have a headache
No you can't have candy for breakfast
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
I'm not a short-order cook
I'm not made of money
No you can't fly like Superman
Wait. Why is this wet?
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
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