DADDY.CARDS
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
Wait. Why is this wet?
Go ask your mother
Can I get a refund?
Sleep is for the weak
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
Because I said so
No, you may not
No you can't fly like Superman
I'm not a jungle gym
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
I'm too old for this
I'm living in a madhouse
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
WHYYYYYY
Poop is life
No you can't have candy for breakfast
I'm not made of money
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
Not now honey, I have a headache
I'm not a short-order cook
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
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