DADDY.CARDS
Because I said so
I'm not a jungle gym
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
Not now honey, I have a headache
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
I'm too old for this
Can I get a refund?
No you can't fly like Superman
I'm not a short-order cook
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
I'm living in a madhouse
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
Poop is life
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
Sleep is for the weak
I'm not made of money
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
Wait. Why is this wet?
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
No, you may not
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
No you can't have candy for breakfast
Go ask your mother
WHYYYYYY
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