DADDY.CARDS
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
No you can't fly like Superman
Can I get a refund?
I'm not a jungle gym
I'm not made of money
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
Go ask your mother
I'm too old for this
Sleep is for the weak
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
No you can't have candy for breakfast
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
I'm living in a madhouse
WHYYYYYY
Not now honey, I have a headache
Because I said so
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
Poop is life
I'm not a short-order cook
Wait. Why is this wet?
No, you may not
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
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