DADDY.CARDS
I'm not made of money
Wait. Why is this wet?
No you can't have candy for breakfast
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
Go ask your mother
I'm not a jungle gym
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
WHYYYYYY
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
No you can't fly like Superman
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
Because I said so
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
I'm not a short-order cook
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
Sleep is for the weak
Can I get a refund?
Poop is life
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
No, you may not
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
Not now honey, I have a headache
I'm too old for this
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
I'm living in a madhouse
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