DADDY.CARDS
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
Go ask your mother
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
I'm living in a madhouse
Poop is life
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
Sleep is for the weak
I'm not made of money
Not now honey, I have a headache
No you can't have candy for breakfast
I'm not a jungle gym
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
I'm not a short-order cook
Can I get a refund?
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
Because I said so
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
I'm too old for this
Wait. Why is this wet?
WHYYYYYY
No you can't fly like Superman
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
No, you may not
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