DADDY.CARDS
Wait. Why is this wet?
I'm too old for this
Sleep is for the weak
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
No you can't fly like Superman
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
Because I said so
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
Can I get a refund?
Poop is life
No, you may not
Not now honey, I have a headache
No you can't have candy for breakfast
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
I'm not a short-order cook
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
WHYYYYYY
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
I'm not made of money
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
I'm living in a madhouse
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
Go ask your mother
I'm not a jungle gym
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