DADDY.CARDS
Sleep is for the weak
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
Poop is life
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
No you can't fly like Superman
I'm living in a madhouse
I'm too old for this
Can I get a refund?
WHYYYYYY
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
I'm not made of money
Because I said so
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
I'm not a short-order cook
Wait. Why is this wet?
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
No you can't have candy for breakfast
No, you may not
Go ask your mother
I'm not a jungle gym
Not now honey, I have a headache
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