DADDY.CARDS
Poop is life
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
Wait. Why is this wet?
I'm not a jungle gym
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
Not now honey, I have a headache
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
Sleep is for the weak
No you can't fly like Superman
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
I'm too old for this
Go ask your mother
I'm living in a madhouse
No you can't have candy for breakfast
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
I'm not a short-order cook
WHYYYYYY
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
No, you may not
Can I get a refund?
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
Because I said so
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
I'm not made of money
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
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