DADDY.CARDS
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
I'm not a short-order cook
I'm not made of money
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
Wait. Why is this wet?
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
Because I said so
I'm too old for this
Go ask your mother
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
Sleep is for the weak
I'm not a jungle gym
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
Can I get a refund?
No you can't fly like Superman
WHYYYYYY
Poop is life
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
No you can't have candy for breakfast
No, you may not
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
Not now honey, I have a headache
I'm living in a madhouse
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
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