DADDY.CARDS
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
No, you may not
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
I'm living in a madhouse
I'm not a short-order cook
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
I'm not made of money
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
Poop is life
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
I'm not a jungle gym
Sleep is for the weak
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
Go ask your mother
No you can't have candy for breakfast
Because I said so
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
Not now honey, I have a headache
I'm too old for this
Can I get a refund?
Wait. Why is this wet?
No you can't fly like Superman
WHYYYYYY
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