DADDY.CARDS
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
I'm not made of money
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
No, you may not
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
I'm not a jungle gym
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
WHYYYYYY
I'm not a short-order cook
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
I'm living in a madhouse
No you can't have candy for breakfast
Sleep is for the weak
Not now honey, I have a headache
Go ask your mother
Poop is life
Because I said so
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
No you can't fly like Superman
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
I'm too old for this
Can I get a refund?
Wait. Why is this wet?
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
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