DADDY.CARDS
Can I get a refund?
Poop is life
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
Not now honey, I have a headache
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
No you can't have candy for breakfast
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
I'm living in a madhouse
No you can't fly like Superman
Go ask your mother
I'm not a short-order cook
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
No, you may not
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
I'm not a jungle gym
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
I'm not made of money
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
Because I said so
Sleep is for the weak
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
Wait. Why is this wet?
I'm too old for this
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
WHYYYYYY
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