DADDY.CARDS
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
Wait. Why is this wet?
No you can't fly like Superman
WHYYYYYY
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
I'm too old for this
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
Sleep is for the weak
I'm not a jungle gym
No you can't have candy for breakfast
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
I'm not made of money
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
I'm not a short-order cook
No, you may not
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
Because I said so
Go ask your mother
Poop is life
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
Not now honey, I have a headache
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
Can I get a refund?
I'm living in a madhouse
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