DADDY.CARDS
Poop is life
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
No, you may not
I'm not a short-order cook
WHYYYYYY
I'm too old for this
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
Not now honey, I have a headache
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
Wait. Why is this wet?
Go ask your mother
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
Because I said so
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
No you can't have candy for breakfast
I'm not a jungle gym
Can I get a refund?
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
I'm living in a madhouse
No you can't fly like Superman
Sleep is for the weak
I'm not made of money
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
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