DADDY.CARDS
Go ask your mother
I'm too old for this
Poop is life
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
No you can't fly like Superman
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
Wait. Why is this wet?
WHYYYYYY
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
I'm not made of money
I'm not a short-order cook
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
Because I said so
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
No, you may not
Not now honey, I have a headache
Sleep is for the weak
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
Can I get a refund?
I'm not a jungle gym
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
No you can't have candy for breakfast
I'm living in a madhouse
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