DADDY.CARDS
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
Can I get a refund?
Because I said so
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
Sleep is for the weak
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
No, you may not
I'm not made of money
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
Poop is life
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
Wait. Why is this wet?
I'm too old for this
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
I'm not a short-order cook
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
No you can't have candy for breakfast
I'm living in a madhouse
Not now honey, I have a headache
WHYYYYYY
I'm not a jungle gym
No you can't fly like Superman
Go ask your mother
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