DADDY.CARDS
I'm living in a madhouse
Silence is golden but impossible with kids
WHYYYYYY
I'm not a jungle gym
I'm raising tiny humans not animals
Parenthood the toughest job you'll ever love
No you can't have candy for breakfast
I'm going to teach you so many swear words
I'm not arguing with a tiny dictator
Can I get a refund?
I'm outnumbered and outgunned
No, you may not
Sleep is for the weak
I love you but I wish you were unconscious
Because I said so
No you can't fly like Superman
Go the fu... fudge to sleep
Not now honey, I have a headache
Wait. Why is this wet?
I'm the boss oh who am I kidding
I'm not a short-order cook
I'm too old for this
No we can't get a pet dinosaur
I'm not made of money
Go ask your mother
Poop is life
Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Please go to sleep
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